"And Another Thing" Exclusive! Kaine Wins Unanimously!
According to our exclusive "And Another Thing" double-blind, highly scientific and nonpartisan poll Tim Kaine will clobber Jerry Kilgore tonight in a historic unanimous victory! All SIX of the voters who responded to our survey are Kaineites. ... Kaineians. ... Kainees. Anyway, the point is that it should be an early night and you heard it here first. No chance of a surprise. Go to bed. Really, it's fine.
Disclaimer: Richmond Magazine, its management and ownership, disavow this ridiculous poll 100 percent. Giampietro is a political neophyte, not to mention a crazy person with delusions of grandeur. And she really believes those six "voters" were all different people.
Now, onto the matter of how Jerry Kilgore throws a football. Reports keep mentioning that in a public appearance with George Allen Saturday Kilgore threw wobbly passes to the crowd. Long record of public service aside, no one wants a governor or a husband who throws like a girl. Prom date for your daughter maybe ...
Today alone I have received four calls from the Republican Party reminding me to vote and to bring a friend. Since being called by Rudy Giuliani and George Allen I have also been called by President Bush. (At least I think it was him because oddly enough he never actually said it was him. Conspiracy-theory mind that I have, I wonder if they didn't use the part of the tape where he says "This is President George Bush" because, well, you know ... ) Anyway, before the polls close in 20 minutes I am fully expecting a call from Ronald Reagan from beyond the grave.